"Oh Boy"

(This blog entry is rated PG due to bathroom humor and use of the word "penis")

So last night I had bathroom duty (take note of the spelling: "duty," not "doody") at Farm Fresh. The cleaning part was not that bad considering the fact that a couple of times I had to clean bathrooms when I worked at the amphitheater (at any concert or entertainment venue, I'm pretty sure that the only bathroom etiquette that people observe is that whatever you do in the bathroom should at least stay in the stall itself). The only uncomfortable moment of the night occurred when some old guy came into the bathroom while I was cleaning. I didn't have a problem with this guy using the restroom while I was in there, but I was a little confused by what he said as he stepped up to the urinal: "Oh boy." Oh boy? Even after he left I couldn't wrap my mind around what he meant. Was it an excitedly anxious "oh boy" as in, "I can't wait to pee!"? Was it a nervously anxious "oh boy" as in, "Here we go again..."? Or was it an sarcastically anxious "oh boy" as in... well, you all know what sarcasm is. I realized that any way he meant it could not have been good. Think about it, if he was being sarcastic that means that he hates to pee. What's so bad about peeing, old man? If he was nervous, then that suggests he has some sort of a health problem associated with peeing. I don't want to get into the specifics, but clearly that's not a good thing. And finally, if he was excited, then, well, that pretty much speaks for itself.

The moral of the story is: don't make small talk with strangers in the bathroom (or at least, don't make small talk with me). I enjoy small talk with strangers as much as the next guy, but the game changes when you add the twist that we are both holding our penises (or peni, if you prefer the Latin). If I'm going to be talking to strangers while holding my penis, it better be a conversation that I'm paying for by the minute. (Thank you, folks, I'll be at the "Funny Bone" in Virginia Beach all week)