Whuttup Ma'am

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Blog Entry (For Kids)

The other day, I missed the bus by like five minutes, so I had about an hour to kill before the next bus came. Luckily, the bus stop is at Fair Oaks Mall, which I’ve only been in a couple of times. It turned out to be more fun than I thought it would be, because I saw two of the most ridiculous stores I’ve ever seen.

The first one was “Talbots For Kids.” What a great idea: There is nothing little girls like more than dressing like professional women about town. When I was a kid, I can’t tell you how many times I had a job interview coming up with nothing to wear. But I suppose the point of Talbots For Kids is for parents to go and buy clothes that their kids will hate and not want to wear.

The second retarded store was “Pottery Barn For Kids.” Pottery Barn For Kids! Look, when kids play “house”, they aren’t really concerned with getting the furnishings right. Kids don’t need a store to help them find napkin holders that match their chargers. And yes, I do lose some Man Points for knowing what napkin holders and chargers are.

*I have a new entry for my ongoing segment called “Weird People that I’ve Seen on the Bus.” The other night, a woman got on the bus, and she had the makeup scheme of a transsexual prostitute. You might wonder, “Well, Phil, how do you know that she wasn’t a transsexual?” An excellent question; I know she wasn’t a transsexual because she had the most pronounced camel-toe I HAVE EVER SEEN. Basically, it was an atomic wedgie. I could actually see her G-spot. I think that she might have misunderstood the meaning of the song “Lady Lumps.” You should not be able floss your snatch through your pants. I know; this disgusting, but I had to make you share in my pain.

*One final bus note: The other day, this woman was reading a Spanish-language newspaper, and the headline was “’No Soy Gay’, Afirma Senador Craig”. I don’t have a joke here; I just thought this was hilarious.

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